Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Rule #886

Learn to recognize Poison Oak (West Coast) and Poison Ivy (East Coast), and don't touch them.

Outside the U.S., carry Calamine lotion and Benadryl.

Rule #885

You can argue until you're blue in the face, but I'd say you've argued way too long.

Rule #884

You simply will not be able to change a person's opinion on some subjects, and that's OK, it makes sure there's always an "Us" and a "Them", and it's nice to be able to recognize them.

Rule #883

When debating, don't get too bothered by differing opinions, everybody is entitled to their opinion, no matter how moronic.

Rule #882

Regardless of what's come before, from this point on your life is up to YOU.

Rule #881

You WILL think and/or write stuff that at the time seems just fine but later will seem idiotic; just accept that.

Rule #880

Basics:

1. There's TONS of stuff we'll never understand.
2. Go about life as if THIS is all there is.
3. Be nice.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Rule #879

The simple path to a perfect world: Treat people the way YOU would like to be treated.

It's the old 'do unto others' rule, and it is simple, and we all know it's right, and... we (the human race) can't do it. Sad.

Rule #878

Eat in moderation most of the time, but sometimes EAT LIKE A PIG, life is short.

Rule #877

When using a chainsaw, make sure the chain is properly adjusted, make sure you wear safety goggles, and DON'T cut off anything that is attached to YOU.

This public service announcement is brought to you by the fine people at McCullough.

Rule #876

Many a Possum has been complemented on their amazing ability to 'play possum' only to find out they were really dead.

Rule #875

Fat, skinny, black, white, pretty, ugly, liberal, conservative... Everybody gets a label, the best you can do is be comfortable with yours.

Rule #874

There will come a time when humanity will realize we're in this together.

Rule #873

Life is funny, sad, and everything in between.

Note: Concentrate on the good stuff.

Rule #872

We all need the input of others, but trust your input above all.

Rule #871

Make sound decisions and stick to them.

Rule #870

When all is said and done, it was just you, and what you did.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Rule #869

A secret society exists who guards the location of the Holy Grail.

Another secret society exists to guard the identity of that secret society.

A key is hidden someplace in Italy that unlocks a box with the identity of the person who knows the leader of a hidden society that maintains a code to a door that leads to a tunnel where a vial holds a small scroll with the correct spelling of Jesus's middle name, which, then spoken into a yet buried well within a dismantled pyramid will activate a machine which will record the voice of the person who has spoken into the well and play it back on speakers connected to a hidden closet in the Vatican, where the Pope keeps his shoes.

P.S. Jesus's Mary used to own a pair of those shoes, but a smaller size, and her shoes still exist and are sometimes worn in public by... ahhhhhhhhhgggggg.

Rule #868

One day computers will be the size of a grain of sand, and the buttons will have to be manipulated with little needles while using a microscope.

Rule #867

"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world..."

Imagine all of Mexico sharing all of California.