Saturday, March 25, 2006

Rule #799

Girls: Tips for picking a boyfriend

1. He treats you nice. (That doesn't mean he apologizes after beating you)

2. He has a job. (Collecting aluminum cans doesn't count)

3. He has NO communicable diseases. (Pointing to a puss blister on his penis and telling you it's a mosquito bite is a BAD sign)

4. He's never been in jail or prison, and he has no relatives in jail or prison. ('Beating the rap' on a felony counts as jail or prison)

5. He never calls you his bitch or whore, and never asks you to have sex with someone to help pay his rent.

6. He opens doors for you, even when your arms aren't full with a 24 pack of beer.

7. He likes the idea of marriage, and commitment.

8. He likes kids and doesn't have any.

9. His name isn't Paco, or Shooter, his friends don't call him OG, and he has NO tattoos. (A small tattoo in memory of his dead mother is allowed)

10. He has NOTHING pierced.

Believe me on these rules, or you'll rue the day you were born.


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11:42 AM  

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