Sunday, October 30, 2005

Rule #759

Several morning greetings to spice up the workplace:

"Go fuck yourself"

"I quit"

"You look sick today"

"I love you"

"Sorry I'm late, I had to score some Heroin"

"I have a bomb in my brief case"

"Nice suit, makes you look gay"

In response to any greeting: "Sorry, I've run out of things to say"

Rule #758

If you don't have something nice to say, say something mean; it stimulates conversation.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Rule #757

To every action there's some sort of reaction.
Believe me, it isn't always equal, or opposite.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Rule #756

The best reason to do a thing, is because you feel like it.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Rule #755

There are a ZILLION books that nobody reads!
Hint for authors; give your book an irresistible title.

Title hints:
"How I made a million fucking dollars" (It's the 'fucking' that really gets their attention), or "My life as a hobo and then I had sex with Paris Hilton" (People are fascinated by hobos).

Rule #754

Life is too short for bullshit; save yourself for the good shit.

Rule #753

Stay away from anyone who 'brings you down'.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Rule #752

Comedy isn't all that funny.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Rule #751

'Be' what you want to be... Doctor, Lawyer, Pirate, whatever.