Friday, July 01, 2005

Rule #581

Note: If you've doubted the Bible, as I have, and then read it, and find that you suddenly DO understand it, and that you have found 'faith', it's a wonderful thing...

A Bible primer:

If you find out your wife isn't a virgin, have her stoned to death. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

If God says so, go kill your enemies, including men, women, and their children. (Samuel 15:-3)

If your enemies won't let God 'reign over them', kill them. (Luke 19:27)

Anyone that uses blasphemy, kill them. (Leviticus 24:16)

If a man commits adultery, kill him and the women he did it with. (Leviticus 20:10)

When God orders you to attack your enemies, kill all the males (even the children), kill all the women who aren't virgins, but keep the girls who are virgins for yourself; and you can keep a 'beautiful woman' you desire, for your wife. (Deuteronomy 21:10-11)

I 'get it'. I have seen the light. I just hope the judge is a Christian if I follow through on the teachings of 'The Good Book'.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously, YOU are the one who didn't understand what you read. I pity you and all those who are just as ignorant.

11:40 AM  
Blogger RW said...

I know those examples I gave must have been 'parables', and that God really meant the opposite... and that we aren't supposed to believe the words that are written in the Bible, only the 'explainations' of those words from someone who knows better.

I am a little slow.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Jes said...

Read the New Testament. That is where these things were nullified.

2:57 PM  
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